Who Am I?

A Shamanic Perspective

for spiritually dispossessed people

By Elisabeth von Madarasz

I am a Divine Spark of the Creator, who created All. I have many aspects. What I seem, what is seen of me physically, is but a fraction of who I am.

I am the physical form that is seen, which embodies the physical lineages of my mother and my father. I embody and continue many of the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual characteristics of my lineages. I have inherited their strengths and weaknesses in the form of beliefs, fears, patterns of behaviour, physical characteristics, Karma. These are not who I essentially am. I have taken them in and on unconsciously, like clothing that I have put on and can choose to remove. I have also inherited the ethos of my lineages, which I can choose to continue. All of these I selected as perfect for my lessons and purpose in coming into physical form. I chose carefully the time, the place, my parents, my country and race, my astrology, numerology and predominant ray, as the seeding bed of who I have come here to be, the ingredients for the Elisabeth I am becoming.

I chose harshly in this lifetime to make me strong, a survivor. I chose a violent father of an aristocratic family, in 1946 in Hungary, as the Russians took over the country. Within my first four years I survived an abortion attempt, hiding from the Russians, and escaping across the border on the sixth attempt with my courageous mother and two siblings. We came to New Zealand where I was beaten frequently by packs of children at school because I was different. I didn't speak the language and we couldn't afford the school uniform for years. By the time I was six years old, I had lost our family's homes and land, my country, and connection with my violent father. I have spent much of my adult life, since separating from the father of my two beautiful daughters, healing the scars mentally, emotionally and physically - removing piece by piece the cellular memory of traumas, recorded and held in my body.

My quest is to find the essential, pure Elisabeth beneath all this, so that I can become more truly who I am and have come to be. I now see myself as standing on a mountain - of my traumas and pain. My mountain is now covered in gold. It is my wealth - the gift I offer others through the compassion, skills and wisdoms of survival.

SHAMANIC HEALING

I am a trained Counselor and have experienced many forms of healing. The most powerful source of healing for me has been Shamanic. Shamanic Extractions have removed from my body the blocks and cellular memories of this lifetime's traumas, as well as the Karmic experiences of the other lifetimes they are connected with.

Shamanic Soul Retrieval has restored the parts of me that left to survive the traumas of this lifetime, as well as related traumas of other lifetimes. It has restored much of my original 'Elisabeth' essence, enabling me to become more and more whole, like a jig-saw puzzle being reassembled.

The wondrous tool of dynamic Shamanic meditation - the Journey - has enabled me to reconnect with my own Spirit; with the spirit that is everywhere, in all the life forms around me, as well as with Spirit Helpers, and above all with my Creator, of whom I am a Divine Spark. The Journey provides a never-ending source of spiritual autonomy, answers to questions, spontaneous spiritual healing, and direct access to Spirit Helpers and the Creator.

THE HEALING PROCESS

I usually begin a healing process when feeling an emotion (e.g. fear, anger). I take time to go within to identify the emotion/s. Then I invite my wounded part/s to meet me in my sacred space, along with their spirit helpers, and my power animals and guides. I ask ‘What’s happening with you? What do you need from me and our spirit helpers?’. This is my richest source for discovering and owning my shadow, my limiting or sabotaging beliefs and patterns.

Often my parts just need reassurance or to be brought up to date. For example, I was in my fourties when my 3-year-old terrified refugee part was told that the war is over and that she is safe now, that she can drop all her defenses and be seen. What a difference this has made in my life!

Usually my parts need to understand what was never explained to them at the time of the original trauma, e.g. that it was not their/my fault. I spent over 40 years of my life unconsciously believing that men wanted to harm me because I was unwelcome and somehow evil, needing to be destroyed.

Spirit helpers often provide healing through light, water etc., and often a terrified part is given spirit help, while I get on with life. For example, the Divine Mother Mary comforts my frozen foetus part (who, following the abortion attempt, stayed frozen for nearly half a century, unwilling and terrified of being here). She is now unfolding, and getting quite stroppy, but still hides in Mary’s cloak whenever she gets scared.

Sometimes, I later receive Shamanic Extraction to remove the cellular memory and blocks from my body, and fill the spaces with Soul Retrieval of the soul parts that left during the shock of the trauma, bringing me the essence, qualities and understandings that I held prior to the experience e.g. trust and innocence. When the pattern is Karmic, the Extraction & Soul Retrieval go back to the original lifetime, healing at the source. When we heal a Karmic family pattern, we simultaneously heal all the past generations who held this pattern and prevent it from continuing on to our children’s children. Our whole lineage is healed of this pattern. In healing ourselves we help heal the planet - past, present and future! When we raise our consciousness, we raise the consciousness of the planet.

SELF-REALISATION

My life task is to become fully realised. To fully realize all that I am and bring, and to live it all. For me this includes my physical lineage, becoming aware of the strengths and ethos I carry, on both my male and female sides, and healing the weaknesses and the unconscious beliefs and patterns of behaviour I inherited. It further includes my spiritual lineage, becoming aware also of my Spirit Helpers and, as I am ready, my Spirit Group and the wisdoms and powers of my previous lifetimes, so I can live these also, and draw on them to fulfil my purpose in coming. It involves also my connection with the land, of my birth and of my choosing. To be powerfully who I am and came to be, I need to find at-one-ment, a sense of belonging and living in harmony with the Spirit and vibrations of the land of my choice. A feeling of being 'at home', of loving oneness with the spirit of the land and life forms around me.

With all these understandings and connections, I then ask my spiritual and physical lineages how to express my spirituality in a way that honours all that I am, and the Spirit and vibrations of the land in which I live. Only when ready, I ask what is my Spirit's purpose in coming to this planet, at this time, in this way? What is my part in the Divine Plan - so I can create my life consciously.

AT-ONE-MENT

Shamanically, I strive also to understand consciously, my part in the whole, and my relationship with humanity at this time on the planet, as well as my connection to the Oneness.

This is the time for humanity to come out of the darkness of separation, which is the basis of fear; the separation within us from our disowned parts, and from each other, into the full realisation of the Spirit, the life force energy, throughout creation. Science describes through the Unity and Gaia Principles, what Shamanism has always expressed through the beautiful symbol of the Spider Web, connecting all into the Oneness. The navigator of the web is the Shaman, whose task it is to heal all things of Earth, Sky and Spirit, living or dead, past, present or future.

My task is to know and live all that I am. Striving to understand my part in the essence of life – who I truly am as a being of Light and love on the Earth, in a physical body, walking between the worlds in the Oneness of all things - striving to stay in harmony, balance and truth, connected to all life forms and, by my own Divine Spirit essence, to the Creator.

This is the reality of Shamanism since the dawn of humankind, symbolized through the Tree of Life, with its roots deep in Mother Earth and its branches reaching to the heavens, to the Creator, Mother/Father God. This is what Shamanism offers as a bridge to the coming Golden Age of Oneness, of Light, Love, Harmony and Beauty.